Meditation Amsterdam - The Egoic Mind as per The Power of now

Hi all and greetz from Meditation Amsterdam!

Having used the previous blog entry to introduce the main idea within Eckart Tolle’s book The Power of Now, I will dedicate this one to discussing resistance to the now as the main mechanic of the egoic mind.  This mechanic is one that is considered normal in daily life, but as we will see ,in its simplicity, it is able to throw our entire life into disarray, and is so deeply ingrained into our psyche that it takes a lifetime of spiritual practice (for some a bit longer) to dissolve.

The resistance of the ego is born from our natural desire for pleasurable situations and our natural aversion to unpleasant ones.   Sounds simple and normal right?  And yet under the view of eastern practices like yoga and meditation, this attitude is considered profoundly dysfunctional, and also born out of an ignorance of “how things really work” and away from which we must cultivate ourselves.

To to someone hearing this for the first time, the opposite alternative may sound inhuman:  “do you mean I shouldn’t be sad if my family member or spouse dies”?

However, as with all teachings from the yogic tradition, we’re dealing here with nuanced points that must be well understood and thoroughly practiced so that once embodied they begin to make sense.

Surfers, Tulips and Kids

It may be handy to illustrate this point with an example that came to mind the other day, which is that of surfers and how the way they behave in relation to the sea, can be used as a great analogy on how to relate to life in a healthier way.

If you ever look at surfers, the first thing you’ll notice is that they’re not resisting the ocean, battling and fighting the waves.  They have learned to enjoy the movement of the ocean.

Surfers also just enjoy the ocean in general instead of enjoying only the waves.  A surfer does not enjoy the ocean selectively, sitting in depression between waves and allowing him or herself to be happy only when a wave comes, and a good one at that.   To a surfer the time between waves is not considered wasted or less valuable.   In that sense, the surfer’s meditative acceptance of the experience brought by the ocean is full instead of conditional.

Moreover, there is no illusion in a surfer’s mind that the ocean exists for supplying him or her with good waves, because that would be an insane way of thinking. The surfer works with whatever the ocean brings each day.

I believe if you compare this to the way we normally live life, the issue of resistance starts to become a bit clearer.   We tend to feel down between “good waves”, and have a feeling as if something has been taken from us.  The identification with the next big thing keeps us waiting for it, and even when good things happen we’re unable to enjoy them, given that we’ve conditioned our mind to happiness in the future.

  

A couple of additional metaphors came to mind to illustrate this point.  There is the example of tulip bulbs, which require a fairly long period in the cold ground during the winter if they’re expected to bloom in the spring.

Imagine the way a tulip bulb would complain if it had human consciousness and egoic mind.  It would likely start asking questions such as “Why is this darn weather so cold, windy and wet?”, “ How much longer is this really going to last?”, “How is one supposed to feel happy and motivated in these conditions?”.

Little does the human tulip bulb know that the long and difficult winter creates the very conditions that make it bloom later.

This makes us look at storms or winters in our lives in a very different light.  Winter must be observed very carefully, as this is the time we grow, when we start preparing and building the character, knowledge, connections and skills we need to bloom once the summer comes.

If we instead spend our winters in a poor state of mind, we’ll be so soaked in negativity that we’re likely to remain a grumpy bulb all year round.   In Mastery, George Leonard speaks about how the master loves the plateau and during this period, continues to diligently practice for the love of practice itself.  That even though nothing seems to be happening on the surface a change is growing within, that will express itself at the right moment.

Finally there is a point about our attitude as we move from good to bad.  This made me think of how we move from being kids to grownups. 

The kid in us often resists grownup life because of all the chores and responsibilities it brings.  It would seem from the eyes of a kid that in light of all this, growing up is not really worth it.  But of course a kid cannot envision some of the great experiences that become available to a grown up, with sex for some reason being on top of my list of examples!

Making Space

Having made a case for how we dislike the bad and crave the good, now comes the big curve ball, which is how more than the bad and the good, what we want is to be stuck with the familiar.

We dislike the move from good to bad, and we dislike the move from bad to unknown, which is the step that necessarily precedes the good. In our failure to accept reality and its incessant changing, we fail to make space for truly new and exciting things to enter our lives, and each day starts to become a mindless repetition of the one before.

In this repetitive cycle, we see events happen and give them absolute labels: "this is a good event", "this is a bad event".  In reality it is impossible to know how things unfold following a certain event, but in our effort to preserve what we have this nuance is lost, we’re playing defence.

When instead we make space for the ‘bad’, allow it and look for opportunity within, it is inevitably there to be found.

It happened to me during a forced sabbatical, that I picked up classical painting to a fairly good level.   I taught myself and was teaching art within 1 year, and though my friends and family would say I found my calling, the fact is I was just interested and made space for the “bad news” of losing my job to give rise to a totally unexplored (and unexploited) side of me.  You may argue that painting was my first meditation, or a step to spiritual opening.

This brought new and different friends, travels and got me invited to places and into conversations I wouldn’t have normally had.

Neglect and Denial

So let’s then go back to the simplistic way of seeing this whole topic.  Does it then mean we should just stop caring and taking action?  Does losing our job or helping starving children no longer make sense since “it’s all fine anyway”.

The question points to one of the biggest misconceptions of Buddhist philosophy, in which the early practitioner tries to not give a crap about anything or take action to make a change.

There’s two big distinctions to be drawn

1.     We talk here about your internal way of processing external circumstances.

In other words, the allowing is a full internal acceptance of reality exactly as it is. From that point we can decide to take right action, remove ourselves from the situation, or simply accept it as it is.  Those are the only healthy options on the table.  Every other option is dysfunctional, and that includes being a hippie in my book.

The world of form in which we live matters, and we therefore take right action and keep our act together.

2.     We’re not suggesting that we should deny the emotions but the exact opposite

Spirituality correctly understood and actively lived, is a courageous constant going into unpleasant emotions and allowing them to express in full.

The denial of emotions that Buddhism is sometimes blamed for is a caricature expressed by the same minds who constantly find escapes to their unpleasant feelings via addiction.  Netflix, Facebook, shopping, sex, eating, gaming, take your pick.  All little dopamine hits to keep the emotional discomfort at bay.

Spirituality is a full allowing of unpleasant feelings, letting them run their course and careful listening of what they’re trying to tell us.  This is difficult to do. However observing our mindset and emotions is the only degree of control we have in this life, and even this is contingent on our level of mindfulness, often earned through diligent meditation.

So the idea is we do our rightful work in the world and then let things take their course.   This way the outcome is either a win, or a learning but you do not accumulate negativity in you for things that you do not control.

Injury but no Insult

Eckart Tolle describes the egoic mind as one that is the enemy of reality and resists what is.  It is an entity that tries to negotiate and manipulate, with its first tactic being an emotional tantrum whenever things don’t go as expected.

The egoic mind believes it can change reality by emotionally blackmailing it.

It also believes it has the right to be indignant when the theme park called reality doesn’t deliver on its wishes and desires.

When we operate from ego we make unfortunate situations into a double whammy in which we receive an injury and then punish ourselves psychologically by considering it a personal insult.  This punishment is of our own doing and does not solve the situation at all. However it is part of the tools the ego uses in order to feel that it matters. After all if we just shrugged our shoulders when things didn’t go our way, then who would we be?

Therefore ego is not only using arrogance or good fortune to grow, but also uses misfortune to grow by developing a victim image. Such is the neurotic flippancy of the ego, that can use hero and victim mentality at its convenience depending on the circumstance, all to make itself bigger.

In conclusion there are two ways to live through life’s ups and downs: resisting or allowing.

The resistance is the egoic mind, trying to find safety and stability in the ever-changing world of form, where it cannot be found.

Namaste

Pablo

www.meditationamsterdam.com